Mommy Monday: Mother's Day

First I should start by saying that I have been a terrible blogger the last two weeks. There, I admitted it. Now let's move on to more fun things! Yesterday was Mother's Day, a day that I really love. For many reasons having to do with my child and for the selfish reason having to do with the fact that I get to do whatever I want with my family that day. I know it may not always seem like it but I love being a mother but it really amazing. Yes, toddlers can be super frustrating but there is nothing more rewarding than a kiss on the cheek and an I love you from your child.

Motherhood is perhaps the coolest thing God has ever chosen me to do. Our pastor said yesterday in church that God chooses our mother's. We do not get to choose them, nor do we get to choose our children. It is really amazing and comforting to me to know that God chose me to be Cian's mom. When I feel inadequate or like screaming because he isn't listening or he is running out into the street it is ok. God chose me and if He thinks I can handle it, I can.

Here are some things about being the mom to a two year old:

• I feel like I spend more time punishing my child than hugging him. I am not sure that this is the case, but it sure feels that way.
• Some days yes, I do want to beat him. I just don't act on it. (I have an entirely new sympathy to my grandparents for sending their kids to pick a switch).
  
• With a hard-headed child lots of things can be a struggle, like getting dressed, brushing teeth, going to bed, eating...This is ok. I am glad he has a mind of his own, I just wish sometime he would use it to listen to me.
• I have been singing "Golden Slumbers" by the Beatles to Cian at bedtime since he was a newborn. This is perfect lullaby to me. I don't go into "Carry that Weight" I hope he doesn't carry any weight but casts it aside.
  
• Cian sings with me in the car now. I love hearing him sing, "I want to shout it out that I love Jesus and tell the world that God is good." This really warms my heart and makes me cry. Sap.
• I try not to compare anymore. Nope, Cian isn't perfect but neither am I. I will make mistakes, I will not always have the perfect child but I will enjoy every stage because it will be gone and we will fly on to the next one way too quickly.
• Though the tantrums drive me crazy, I love having a toddler. I love watching him run and explore. I love hearing him say "wait for me mommy" and "yun mommy yun". (that means run for those who don't speak toddler). Most of all I love hearing him say "That's my mommy"and "I love you too much". He will not always be so proud that I am his mom but I will always be proud that he is my son.
  

I am thankful for my mothers, for the one I have and the one I got when I got married. I pray for mothers everywhere, those who have their babies, have lost their babies, are waiting on their babies and the ones who are longing for the babies they don't know yet. The love you feel for your children is a love that no one can tell you about, it must be experienced. I love my Cian so much and can't wait to have another little booger to love with such reckless abandon. One day I will release them and I hope they too have the chance to feel this type of love.