Grace

So, I do have a Mommy Monday coming later today but I had to stop to give you some thoughts that I have this morning.

Today is an anomaly, it is 9:45 and my child is still asleep. Yes, he is usually up by 7 or 7:30 and today he is still racked out. (He did get up and come to my bed around 7 and is in there by himself). This has given me a chance to just sit and read on the couch. For a mom, these moments are few and far between. I am currently reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning for my book club. The book is talking about truly accepting the grace of Jesus like a sinner, like we are. Accepting the fact that we do not deserve it nor can we earn it but it is there nonetheless.

A quote I read today was "There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are." I love this. I prayed that I could be transparent. That I will not hide who I am, I am beautiful and flawed. I am a wife, mother, daughter, friend who makes mistakes and needs grace from the people around me and from our awe inspiring God. Sometimes I will drink too much wine, or say things that are insensitive. I will yell at my family and ignore my son when he tries to give me kisses. I will get too wrapped up in what is on TV or what I feel like "needs" to get done. I will not take the time to give my husband the attention he needs. I will not listen to the advice he gives me and I will do what I want to do anyway. I will worry too much about me and what I want to do. I will not call my friends enough of spend enough time with them. In spite of all this and much more I pray that these people will love me anyway and when someone does these things to me that I will remember the unfailing redemptive love of Christ and show it to them and to each and every person I come into contact with.

The book was also talking about how we need to yearn for and not lose a sense of wonder. I think the things God breathed into existence out of nothing are the most wondrous things on Earth. Yes, the newest technology is pretty stinkin cool but will never be as amazing or breathtaking as a rainbow or a sunrise. It will never bring me to tears like the blooming springtime or a baby's first breath. God is our creator and is my creative influence. If only I could tap an ounce of His creativity. This got me thinking about how He breathed each and every one of us into existence. Just like He made the beautiful sunset, He made each one of us. I am so thankful He made Steve with special care and that He used Steve and I as vessels to bring our precious little Cian into this world. I pray that I can always look at my little family and the world outside of us with a sense of wonder and amazement at how God brought us into being and to each other.