When you were born you showed me that there is this love that I never new existed. It is a love that is consuming and as close to selfless as I can be. When you were born I looked at this little face that belonged to a baby who needed me, needed me for everything. You were this child that Steve and I had helped bring to life. I thought that I was very blessed to be able to feel this way and that maybe I felt just a fraction of the love that God feels for all of us.
With you everything was new and I was learning so much. Our family went from two to three and I thought how three truly is a magic number. There were a lot of sleepless nights and I had no idea that you could even be that tired and function, but those days passed. I loved holding you and rocking you to sleep and just spending peaceful days with you. There were so many times that it was just you and I and I relished in them. I also got pretty dang sick of daytime tv.
You kept growing and I kept being surprised at how fast it was all happening. Those people that I thought were crazy that said kids grow up really fast were really right. It didn't seem fast in the middle of an all night crying/eating session or a tantrum but then one day I woke up and you were three. I am happy but sad that one day I will wake up and you will be twenty-three.
Right now the world is your oyster. I love watching your budding imagination as you "read" books and turn everything into a story. There are bad guys around every corner but super Cian (or Batman, Superman, Spiderman, etc.) is there to get them every time. I have learned more about Star Wars and Super Heroes than I ever thought I would know. I am pretty sure I could give the geeks at Comic-Con a run for their money. Heck, I even have a Leia costume.
I love cuddling on the couch and watching movies with you and listening to the songs you make up. I looked at you the other day at the movies with your hipster looking 3D glasses on and I was so happy I could cry. I love reading to you and hearing you "read" your books.
I can't wait to see what God brings you and how you grow and change. I hope you will face it all head on and never lose the zest for life you have now. I hope you will always sing and that you will not lose your imagination. I hope you will never be ashamed of who you are and that when you dress yourself in high water overalls and a predators jersey you can be as confident as you are at three. I pray that I will always have the good sense to put my computer down and tickle you when you ask me to and that no matter how old you get I will always listen to you and look our for what you need. I hope I never lose interest in what you are interested in.
Love,
Mommy
Dear second child (aka Isla),
I wondered when I was pregnant with you if there would be room in my heart for love like I felt for Cian. I found out very quickly that the Grinch is not the only one's heart who can grow three sizes. While I was pregnant with you there wasn't as much mystery, I knew some of what was to come, I knew how to change a diaper, I knew about the sleepless nights, I knew about the spit up stains on my work clothes. I also knew just how much you would rock my world and how much I would cherish and love you. You are one lucky baby, I relished in every second you were in my tummy (even those five days after my due date) and knew you were growing and God was knitting you together.
I am truly cherishing every sweet early morning with you and snuggling with you every night because you are probably my last baby. I am trying to relish in cuddling you and calming your tears. I love our quiet times while I feed you. I know life is more hectic and I can't just cuddle you all night but I hold you closer, knowing that one day I won't be able to hold you for that long or give you as many kisses as I want to. I love hearing your little noises and your laugh. When your feet are tickled you giggle and it is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. Your smile truly can light up a room and make your daddy melt. I love the way your eyes light up when you see us.
I love all the girl clothes, headbands, socks and accessories. One day I will love buying all the girl toys (My Little Pony hear I come) but most of all I love the girl who you are and the girl you will be someday. I pray that you will follow God and that you will not listen to what the world says you should be and look like. I pray that I will be able to let go and let you be who you are meant to be and not who I am or who I think you should be. Of course I pray you are smart and beautiful and I believe you will be to me no matter what. I also hope you are compassionate and determined and that when you find your dreams you don't give up on them.
I can't wait to watch you grow and see the girl and woman you will someday become. I hope it doesn't happen too fast, but I know it will. All too soon you will be rolling, sitting, crawling and walking. Then running and jumping. I know there will come a day when I will not be as cool as I am now (at least in your eyes because we know I will still actually be cool) but to me you will always be my baby girl and I will always cherish you.
Love,
Mommy
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