Mommy Monday: The Breakdowns

Monday, January 31, 2011

The breakdown, otherwise known as tantrums. If you are a parent you know what I'm talking about; I think most two to three year olds have these at some point. I have seen and heard them and experienced them myself! Let me paint a picture for you:

It's 8:050am and I should be walking out the door in about ten minutes to get Cian to his babysitter and to work by 9. I tell Cian, who is deeply engrossed in "Super Why" that it is time to get dressed and put on his shoes to go to Heather's. Well he loves to go there, but doesn't love being taken away from his precious morning cartoons. At first he just says, "Wanna watch soupwy." Then as he can see I am becoming more insistent he starts crying. "No mommy, not wite now." He has not made any effort to budge from the couch and walk into his room where said clothes and shoes are so I start walking toward him and he screams, "Wanna sit couch and watch soupwy". It's time to pull out the big guns so I say, "Cian, do you want a spanking". To which he replies, "No, mommy, no". Usually this will get him up and into his room. This is when the real fun begins. My child is not one who will simply wear whatever I have picked out for him. (This might be punishment my youth and the clothes I wore in high school). He is VERY particular about the things he wants to wear. I have learned to set out two options and let him pick out which one he wants. Sometimes this makes getting dressed easy, but on a morning like this it made no difference. He picked the shirt out and I went to put it on him.

To put the shirt over his head I asked him to stand up. Have you ever tried to walk after a surgery or something when your legs have been kind of asleep? You know when you stand up and your knees buckle? Well my child does this voluntarily. I have my hands under his armpits and he will put his hands up as if he is going to be cooperative and then the legs buckle and all that is keeping him up are my hands. His legs are dangling and he is screaming and thrashing. It is not so easy to pull a shirt over the head of a twenty-six pound thrashing banshee. "Don't like Thomas shirt," he is screaming. This is the same Thomas shirt he picked out two seconds earlier. After fighting to get his shirt on it is time for pants. I try laying him down for this because the bucking legs just isn't going to work. The legs definitely dodn't buckle, they just thrash and kick like a soccer player shooting for the game winning goal. Every time I can get one foot in the pants and move on to the next one the first foot spasms and comes out. As you can imagine I am getting pretty exasperated by this point. Not to mention it is 8:15 and I need to be out the door. When he is FINALLY dressed we move on the the next battle, the shoes and socks.

I do the same thing, giving him the option of two pair of shoes and he almost always chooses his crocs over his converse. (I want him to look like a punk rock boy though)! I try to get him to sit in my lap to put his socks on and he starts throwing himself to either side of me saying "wanna sit next you". Ok, sit next to me but be still for Christ's sake. (Yep, by this point I am getting super frustrated and saying things I wouldn't normally say. The F word has even come out of my mouth). He sits next to me and screams about how he wants to be in my lap. So I ask him if he wants spanking again and this time I get his shoes on. If they are the crocs it is easy, but if they are the high top tennis shoes this battle is much longer. Finally, I have a fully dressed, face full of snot and tears toddler and a fully frustrated almost-in-tears mommy. Time to brush our teeth. This can be tricky because there is temptation to run out to the TV instead of the bathroom. (Good thing mommy is smart or has learned the hard way to turn the TV off beforehand). No running in the catch the end of Super Why, it's teeth time child. The brushing is not really hard anymore until I tell him it is time for me to "get his teeth real good." Don't judge me for the grammar. Most days he will say ahhh and let me finish up but sometimes he takes off and I have to chase him.

Finally, we are ready to go except one last thing...the jacket! "Don't wanna put my jaket on." Well kid, tough, I don't want to deal with your screaming but I am." I haven't mentioned that I am leaving the house carrying my purse, Cian's backpack, a gym bag and sometime a coke and water bottle. On the morning I resemble a pack mule are usually the morning that Cian refuses to walk to the car by himself. I say bye and take all the stuff to the car and get in. This is supposed to work in getting him to the car right? Nope, he starts running around the yard. By this time it is 8:30 and we are going to be late, again! I have to get out and march over there and pick him up which generally results in some more thrashing and "wanna walk mommy." I carry thrashy mcthrasherton to the car where I wrangle him into his car seat and start singing about Jesus, cause I need him right now.

I know what you're thinking, turn the TV off and start getting ready earlier. Ok, I got it but I am not sure this will stop the dramatics. These morning I am praying a lot. I need patience and a bit of Daddy's intimidation factor. I love my child more than words and it makes me feel bad when I let his two year old antics get to me and I act like a flustered and bedraggled adult. I know this phase too will pass and one day when he is 15 I will look back on those morning and miss them and think the toddler was so much easier. This is what I tell myself as I start the car thinking about how I could drop him off at daycare and hit up a bar. This is what I want to tell him:


Even though you might sometimes scream and cry and put up a fight when asked to do anything, you are very special. The times you are like this no way overshadow the times when you give hugs and kisses and the way you have made my life so much better. It's amazing to me that I ever felt complete before you came to your daddy and I. Don't worry, truth be told, I have crying fits and put up fights. In fact, I have them in my own way as you are having yours. I am not a perfect parent, therefore can't raise a perfect child but I can and will pray for you and be thankful for you every day of your life and mine. You will always be my bebop and I will always give you one when you say, "Wanna hug you mommy".



Dressed and ready but not happy about it...

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Awwww....he looks so pitiful in that picture! That's tough stuff, hang in there! Will is starting to tantrum and we're not happy about it either...this coupled with a very stubborn child makes for some interesting days!

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