Mommy Monday: I forgot

Monday, August 1, 2011

When Cian was an infant I didn't think I would ever sleep again. I also didn't think I would forget the love and pure relief of seeing the sweet face of your baby or elation of holding your sleeping baby or the exact moment he rolled over the first time. In a sense I haven't completely forgotten but some of these things are beginning to get hazy. I really told myself, treasure these moments and don't forget because they will soon be gone. They are gone and guess what, I forgot.

I watched a video yesterday of a couple who had a brand new baby and it showed the baby in the hospital and them holding the baby with such huge smiles on their face. First, this was pregnant girl suicide and a surefire way to get the tears flowing. Second it just brought all the emotions and feelings from the hospital and those precious first few weeks/months rushing back. It did inspire me to think about all the things I forgot...

I forgot:
  • How it felt to have that little body thrust on your belly for the first time. What it was like to see the face I had been dreaming about for months finally in front of mine.
  • The movements of a newborn baby as they adjust to their new world. The dark close comfort of the womb taken away and a huge bright new world awaiting.
  • The crying on the monitor or the lack thereof. The waking up and looking at Cian just to make sure he was breathing.
  • The first baby laughs.
  • The quiet still times nursing my tiny baby.
  • The food all over the walls.
  • The "how many times can I drop this toy and have you pick it up" game.
  • The wide open mouth baby kisses.
  • The smell of a newborn, so close to God.
  • Cian's little baby hand patting my back.
  • The first I love you.
There are so many things that we forget but each moment with our babies of any age is precious. I am holding tight to each phase because this too will be gone and I will forget.

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